Polar Bear on the Loose

Chronicles of a polar bear's life in society.

Email: mercuryranch AT yahoo.com

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Hmm. I thought I'd written more recently here, but I must not have. We did get rain the other night, but I didn't know it until the next morning when the ground was wet. I participated in StarDoc's "Building Better Characters Workshop" last night. I pretended to be Her pretending to be me, but She was off in slumber land as she had to get up early this morning. Since I'm a lazy, loungy polar bear who has to pretend to like salmon to avoid offending people with delicate sensibilities (they are offended that I eat baby seals), that little technical inaccuracy in chat is beginning to bother me. I must find a more species-appropriate munchie for the chat room. If I keep swilling salmon, next thing I know, my snout will be thickening, and my hair will be darkening. I am not a grizzly. I am a polar bear. Repeat after me, "I am a polar bear. I have a nasty attitude, and I eat other cute Arctic creatures and don't feel bad about it." And thanks to Gary Larsen for summing up (paraphrased) my feelings of the Arctic igloo, "I like the crunchy exterior coupled with the chewy insides."

Are you absolutely certain you want to invite me to stay at your house?

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

One thing we get here in Virginia and not in the Arctic is thunderstorms. We had a doozy before She went to Texas (yes, in that 14 hour period She was actually here), and we had a nice show last night. It's overcast enough that we we may get another one tonight.

Sunday, July 27, 2003

I've been down here out of the Arctic for several months now. I'm settled in pretty well; I've done some traveling. I have a couple observations.

I'd really like a grocery store catering to polar bears. I've seen Asian markets galore. What's so hard about an Arctic or Polar Market? Clientele, I suppose you're thinking. True. By the time we had a large enough clientele to support such a market, we'd have to have polar bears crawling all over the place--or at least it would seem that way. Coupled with our nasty dispositions, events like that could be dangerous to home resale values. I'll concede this idea is well before its time.

Then we have the continuing problem of my sheer size exceeding design specifications for most furniture and other staples. Remember the difficulty we had finding in-line skates in my size? That was easy compared to the other difficulties I have. Like the ARCTIC keyboard early in this BLOG, I'm going to have to start making things up to deal with housing difficulties.

Some things work pretty well just as they are. Of course, I can sit under a sprinkler to cool off just like anyone else. You've heard me mention the kiddie pool. It's an inflatable plastic one, and as long as you're willing to suspend reality long enough to keep my claws from popping it, you can believe that I lay around and read novels in it on a hot afternoon. I do fit in a the back of the Mountaineer, although I'm quite cramped in there (I'd fit OK in the Navigator, though. Hint. Hint.). Of course, conventional seatbelts don't fit around me. And headroom is non-existent when I'm sitting in the seat. My claws also tend to tear up the leather, but I'm real careful (especially since She wants to trade it in at Christmas time).

I'll keep thinking of things that work OK as well as things that need some revision. I'll let you know what I come up with. How about you? What can you think of?

Friday, July 25, 2003

Ananova - Purple polar bear brings in the crowds

I thought I'd use this story to test the "Blog This" toolbar feature. I'd heard this on the news, but thanks to deRien for the comment about my more colorful, er, fashionable relatives!
She's back. I had a quiet week, but I had to laugh at one of my cousins who had a bad reaction to some antibiotics and turned purple! I never knew that could happen! But I've been having some skin problems, so I hope whatever treatment I may need to get doesn't result in this side effect!

Regarding the NBA off-season. It looks like the Spurs are doing OK for themselves. I can't believe they ever really wanted Jason Kidd, and I can't believe the hype there was in SA about maybe signing Latrell Sprewell. He's one of the last guys they need.

Regarding the WNBA, the Silver Stars are off to a slow start in their new home. I'm a little disappointed by this, but maybe next year will be better.

Friday, July 18, 2003

(Pouting slightly.) She knew all along about my plans to sneak up to DC with Her. About half way up there, She called me out. We had a good time, and I really enjoyed the hotel. I cooled off in the pool, did light treadmill workouts, and really enjoyed the room. The hotel staff were great--once they understood I would leave the swans alone. They didn't bat an eye that I was a polar bear. The chef cooking breakfast had salmon for my omelettes. I'm glad She didn't mind that I snuck along--but She did say She wished I would have remembered to turn the air conditioning down here at the house. She wasn't too happy about air conditioning an empty house for the week.

Sunday, July 13, 2003

She's packing the Mountaineer. I've got my stuff stowed in the back and am nearly ready to crawl in the back and pull the privacy screen over myself. She'll never notice that I've come along on this one--until we get there, but then it's too late. (I promise not to bother the swans in the hotel lobby--the feathers get stuck in my teeth.)

I'm tired of the kiddie pool in the back yard. This hotel has a real pool. I need a break for a week. I'll let you know how it goes.
She's back. I got a lot of reading done this week with Her out of my fur. Vincalis the Agitator was the featured reading for the week. Wow. The Secret Texts make so much more sense to me now. I started back at Vengeance of Dragons, and it's flowing leaps and bounds better for me now.

She was warm the entire time in Italy. Italian air conditioning is not quite like US air conditioning. I'm so glad I stayed here and didn't go.

Saturday, July 05, 2003

She's packed. She's going to shut me down pretty soon. I'll be off-line for a few weeks, but don't you worry. I'll be here.

Thursday, July 03, 2003

She's packing for the trip. I'm all set and looking forward to the week here by myself. It's raining again, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying the kiddie pool in the back yard. I really should call it the polar pool--I don't ever have kiddies in there. Besides, once I eat them, I have to clean the pool, and that's a pain. Eating was much easier in the Arctic. Leftovers went to other bears or hungry foxes. Cleanup was never my problem. Here in "polite society" life is more complicated. Although, I've noticed on the news that there are segments of "polite society" who do not clean up their mess. They leave it for policemen and ambulance crews to clean up. I'll have to ask Her about why it's only certain segments of society that do this--they all look the same to me, so how is the differentiation made?

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

I'm stocking up on sardines, salmon, tuna, and peanut butter to tide me over while She's gone. I think She plans to take me to Texas with Her at the end of the month (What am I thinking--the heat!!), so I'll only have to get by for two weeks. Hmmm...maybe She'll take me to DC with Her, too. She's staying at Embassy Suites--the room is plenty big, they have a pool and an exercise room, and I promise not to eat the swans! (I don't mind fur, but feathers get stuck in my teeth; they're worse than popcorn!) And She's driving, so there will be plenty of room for me. I think I'll hide in the back of the Mountaineer. She'll never notice me!