Polar Bear on the Loose

Chronicles of a polar bear's life in society.

Email: mercuryranch AT yahoo.com

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Hi. I'm Inuit, and I like Barry Manilow's music.

I've been wandering among human's long enough to know that statement may evoke very opposite and intense feelings from the reader. Barry Manilow seems to be one of the "artists people love to hate." I don't really understand why. I find his music soothing. His "Singin' with the Big Bands" album is particularly good.

I go more for Classic Pop (not sure what else to call Pop music from 20 years ago...I don't think it's a recognized genre). She goes more for Classic Rock and Contemporary Country (one and the same if you ask me). With a little jazz, Lionel Richie, and classical thrown in for good measure.

She put half the CD collection into the hard drive (twice--the first time She used RealPlayer's proprietary format; the second time, she opted for MP3). Studying the genre listings, we have the following to choose from:

Acoustic Pop
Big Band
Classic Rock
Contemporary Country
Contemporarary Folk
General Country
General Jazz
General Pop
General R&B (Lionel Richie)
General Rock
Hard Rock (Meatloaf, Heart, Boston--not by today's standards, but it's hard rock to Her)
New Wave (The Cars are New Wave????)
Psychedelic Rock
Soft Rock
Southern Rock
Traditional Country

That's about half the collection. She's out of hard drive space and debating whether or not She wants an MP3 player. Of course, then She must decide if She wants the hard drive MP3 player, the teeny, tiny MP3 player, or a new PDA with MP3 player included. The only thing She knows for sure is that She doesn't want THREE MP3 players. Amusing. I'll keep you posted as She works through this chilling dilemma.

Monday, August 25, 2003

Judge offered light sentences for sex.

What do you take this headline to mean? Was the judge convicted of some illegal forms of sex and offered light sentences? Did the judge barter sex with the defendants in exchange for the defendants receiving a lighter prison sentence? Did the judge write humorous annecdotes and offer them to readers in exchange for sex?

I've been dealing with the English-speaking world long enough now to determine the middle choice is most likely correct; however, when I first read the headline, several different images came to mind.

And, by the way, it was a little of the first choice as well--the judge earned himself three years in prison for offering the second choice. I guess he'll have plenty of time for writing light verse to offer to his cell buddies, but alas, the article says he will most likely serve his sentence in solitary confinement.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

So. She did some planning today for the novel She's going to write and attribute to me. I have to admit She hit the nail on the head for some things--specifically, what on earth will I do now that I've wandered into polite society? In fact, how long can polite society simply ignore the polar bear in the room? Well, in a room with white walls, quite a while, it appears. Actually, that was the easy part, but She's finally begun to realize all the challenges I've had to deal with just to pursue my dream. And I'm reminded how dependent upon others I was to get this far. Humbling.

Sunday, August 17, 2003

I hear thunder. It's been rumbling out there for hours but not a drop of rain. I want to hibernate. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. Grouchy bear.

Friday, August 15, 2003

Grumble. Grumble. Grumble. I am not a happy bear. I was fine earlier tonight. Then, wham! I'm grumpy. Maybe it will pass.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

I'm still in shock. She. Wants to write a novel. About me! Without even consulting me. And She has the gall to think I might be thrilled by the idea. Clearly, She doesn't know the least bit about me and my desire for privacy. This, coupled with the blackout in the Northeast, has me on edge. I hope my distant cousin, Gus, in the Central Park Zoo is OK.

A book. About me. Whatever would She say?

Gus has had a book written about him. It looks like a kid's book, but it's not. Well. I'll think about it.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

She's thinking about writing a novel about me. And She thinks I'll be happy about it! What is She thinking?!?! I don't want my private life splattered all over creation. And why should my biography go into a novel anyway? We're going to have to have a talk.

Friday, August 08, 2003

She bought acorn squash today. Tells me I'll like it. I dooon't knooow. (Peeks into oven, doubtfully.)

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Oooh boy. Am I a soggy bear! I love the rain. The storms are coming in, and the rain has just started to pour. Time to snuggle into bed with a good book and enjoy the show! G'night, All!

Sunday, August 03, 2003

More rain. More sunshine. The weather can't decide what to do. I'm pretty much the same way these days.

Friday, August 01, 2003

August. The tundra should be getting pretty soggy about now. Time to move North, and the salads are aplenty.