Polar Bear on the Loose

Chronicles of a polar bear's life in society.

Email: mercuryranch AT yahoo.com

Sunday, July 27, 2003

I've been down here out of the Arctic for several months now. I'm settled in pretty well; I've done some traveling. I have a couple observations.

I'd really like a grocery store catering to polar bears. I've seen Asian markets galore. What's so hard about an Arctic or Polar Market? Clientele, I suppose you're thinking. True. By the time we had a large enough clientele to support such a market, we'd have to have polar bears crawling all over the place--or at least it would seem that way. Coupled with our nasty dispositions, events like that could be dangerous to home resale values. I'll concede this idea is well before its time.

Then we have the continuing problem of my sheer size exceeding design specifications for most furniture and other staples. Remember the difficulty we had finding in-line skates in my size? That was easy compared to the other difficulties I have. Like the ARCTIC keyboard early in this BLOG, I'm going to have to start making things up to deal with housing difficulties.

Some things work pretty well just as they are. Of course, I can sit under a sprinkler to cool off just like anyone else. You've heard me mention the kiddie pool. It's an inflatable plastic one, and as long as you're willing to suspend reality long enough to keep my claws from popping it, you can believe that I lay around and read novels in it on a hot afternoon. I do fit in a the back of the Mountaineer, although I'm quite cramped in there (I'd fit OK in the Navigator, though. Hint. Hint.). Of course, conventional seatbelts don't fit around me. And headroom is non-existent when I'm sitting in the seat. My claws also tend to tear up the leather, but I'm real careful (especially since She wants to trade it in at Christmas time).

I'll keep thinking of things that work OK as well as things that need some revision. I'll let you know what I come up with. How about you? What can you think of?


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