Polar Bear on the Loose

Chronicles of a polar bear's life in society.

Email: mercuryranch AT yahoo.com

Monday, May 26, 2003

She told me someone on Forward Motion, I think it was Ruth, expressed concern about me being a couch potato, so She went out and got me in-line skates to exercise with. Thanks, Ruth, whoever you are. She even convinced the salesperson that I really did have really wide feet and managed to find two pair of skates that would fit my paws (I guess, to explain the two pair, she must have told said salesperson I needed to alternate days, or something?). She even got knee and elbow pads--they just don't make bear-size helmets, our heads are too unusually shaped.

I had no idea how to use these things, but She strapped them onto me the other night and shooed me out the door to try them out. I rolled down the driveway and was promptly dumped onto my backside by the transition from driveway to road. OK. I could have expected that, so with the usual cartoon scrabbling of skates, I managed to get myself back on all fours. I managed to shuffle stiffly and awkwardly back and forth in front of the house a couple times, but when I fell again, I decided that was enough and dragged myself inside.

I also told myself people usually pick this thing up fairly quickly, so why was this bear having so much trouble--with four feet instead of two, it should be easier, or so I thought. I did a search and found a site that seemed dedicated to teaching people how not to kill themselves on in-line skates. After a lttle reading, I think I've found a solution. The polar bear has to do the duck walk. Uh...riiight. I think I can strike that pose with my front paws, but I'm not sure my back paws bend that way! This time I'll do a little "duck walk" practicing in the back yard on the grass before I attemp the pavement again.

I'll let you know how it goes.

And, oh yeah--Spurs are up 3-1 over the Mavs! YES!!! Looking gooood.


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