Polar Bear on the Loose

Chronicles of a polar bear's life in society.

Email: mercuryranch AT yahoo.com

Friday, May 02, 2003

She's back. She chewed me out for not mowing the lawn--but She doesn't want me outside scaring the neighbors. What's a bear to do? She also complained that I drank all the milk and Diet Coke (how did she know I like it mixed together?). I left Her a can of tuna fish (couldn't get the can opener to work--why can't She get an electric one like rational people?). Besides, She could have stopped and picked some up on the way home from work today. (Yes, I know She wound up spending two and a half hours on this puny yard that shouldn't take nearly that long, but why is that MY fault?) I didn't drive the truck. I didn't scare the neighbors (except for that one time). I didn't leave the house any messier than it was when She left (and why should I be expected to clean up after Her anyway?). If She would have left me with the mailbox key, I would have picked up the mail. Then She wouldn't have had to call the post office from Texas and have them hold it because She forgot. She'll probably blame me for the poison ivy She came home with. Ah well. Grin and bear it (pun intended). She'll be gone again in a week. I'm still not gonna mow that lawn, but She better leave me with something to eat in this house, or I will be loping down to WalMart for some groceries (make that Food Lion--it's closer; I bet they don't ask ME for my discount card when I check out!).


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